


Trott is a slave to his homosexual shame

by Woolve



Series: The Hatmen of Hat Films [2]
Category: Hat Films - Fandom, The Yogscast
Genre: Emotional Constipation, Joining Cults To Escape Responsibility, M/M, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7127240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woolve/pseuds/Woolve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trott and Smith have been at it for a week, but as the haze begins to clear, can Trott remain satisfied?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cut Adrift

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up to a relatively sillier fanfic based on vague descriptions of the Hat Men, who I haven't watched or read about.

"I'm so glad I'm a homosexual now", whispered Smith. The sun shines into the Hat Room. The air was a curtain about the lovers on their sodden couch, their closeness formed an impermanent guard against all anxiety or doubt. Smith and Trott had been homosexuals together for one week.

Trott had been a straight man for much of his personal history, but recent events allowed him to abandon his path to righteousness for true love's first kiss and a sloppy handjob. He hadn't showered in 5 days, the whole girth of his attention buried firmly in his hazy, waking dream. With a chilled gust of wind rolling through from an open window, his mind began to stir again.

Ross had been spending more and more time away, and hadn't shown himself at all this afternoon. It occurred to Trott that he and Smith had spent so much time jacking each other off, and not enough time showering or maintaining their relationships with other people.

"Smith. It's time we passed as straight again." For the first time since 10pm the day before, Trott stood up.

Smith, dick in hand, was visibly annoyed. "But you're a twink, Trott! There's no conceivable way! It's inconceivable!"

"We smell like, ass, Smith. We're hideous."

"Yeah, well... We’re just being true to ourselves, right?"

"No, gay people are supposed to be clean and well put-together. That's how it's always been in the stories, Smith. It's time we fit our role as part of the Gay Community." Trott turned to Smith, his once-rosy cheeks turned ashen grey by his sudden acceptance of fate.

"Fuck that, Trott. Why are you such a traditionalist? Well, pseudo-traditionalist." Smith gestured to Trott's obscenely tiny denim shorts, "You fit in fine! You're already the biggest homo I've ever seen. Homo enough for me at least, and isn't that enough?"

Trott didn't answer, opting for a placating nod and suppressing a disheartened sigh. “I just need some time alone to think.” Trott whispered, half to himself, internally cursing himself and his weakness for clichéd statements. Smith clenched his fist and apprehensively stood by as Trott left the room. 

_Who am I now?_ Trott wondered, fiddling with the loose threads on his tank top. _I can’t return to my family in Mauritania. All I have are the other Hat Men. Ross... Smith..._ Trott’s head was confused. His feelings had for so long been guarded, as if willingly resigned to a gated mountain compound, harvesting wheat for a charismatic ruler called Shame. He hadn’t been so close to freedom’s fickle pleasure and life’s uncertain joys as he had in this past week. _Is happiness a game we play at, like dancing in the street with our eyes closed, ignorant of the cars that swerving to avoid us? Is Luck the only guiding force at play, and Inevitability the reaper, waiting for Luck to drop His defense?_ Trott was gripped by semi-religious fanaticism. All at once he felt alone in the universe, his reliance on uncertainty and his fear of completeness cutting him adrift. _No matter how much Smith and I mash our bodies together, we’ll never become one pure entity. What is oneness? What is wholeness? What is being, and what is undoing? Why do I let fear guide me, and why can’t I let go of Her hand?_

He left the Hat House. He left the town. He left the kettle on.


	2. Ross is manned by a puppeteer who has become tired of his job

Ross feels sad, Ross feels small, here stands Ross at 6ft tall. Looking out the window, Ross has no home. Clenching his fists, Ross has no family. If Ross stands still too long, the emptiness will consume him. Be careful Ross. He feels it running up his ankles like a cold breeze. Weak fingers that clasp at his calves. He doesn’t know what they want. Ross should sit down and have a good cry. Right, Ross? Of course not.

Ross is sad because his friends don’t talk to him. Ross wants to be friends with everyone again. Ross misses Trott, and Ross misses Smith. But they don’t miss him, do they Ross? Ross is shaking his head. No, they don’t miss you. Poor Ross. Poor sad Ross.

Smith is in the room now, and he has a message for you, Ross. He says “Trott went for a walk, and I don’t know where he went.” What do you think, Ross? Aren’t you upset? “We have to find him, again.” Oh, that sounds important, doesn’t it Ross?

“I don’t know where he went.” Aren’t you upset, Ross? “I don’t know where you went. Either of you.” You’re upset, aren’t you? You’re not making sense and Smith doesn’t understand. He doesn’t care that you’re upset when you talk like this. You can’t do any better though, can you? Brighten up and make a joke, Ross. “Hah, just fucking with you!” Flash him that winner’s grin, Ross. Remember, it’s all in the eyes. Even if your words don’t convince him, those eyes will. “What’s the deal, what happened?”

Oh, did you see that look in Smith’s eye right now, Ross? He looked annoyed. He thinks you were being stupid just then when you tried to get all serious. You never really did a good job at serious, did you Ross? You don’t have the wit for it. “Trott and I had a falling out, I think. I haven’t figured it out yet. He left to think about some things, and never came back.” This really does sound important, Ross. This demands your attention. Help him, Ross. Do it, Ross.

“Tell me what happened exactly. Leave out the sexy bits though, nobody wants to hear about that!” Well Ross that was a bit of a risky one, wasn’t it? What if that sounds homophobic? It might make him feel bad about his way of life. If you’re not with him in this, maybe he might leave you behind for good? Maybe after this situation with Trott is done, you can take a break from them for a while. Spend more time away. Wouldn’t hurt to have some distance, would it Ross? They like you less and less these days. You see the way they look at you. Listen now though, Smith is talking. Smith has been talking anyway. Why did you worry so much, Ross? Why did you have to go off on this tangent?

Smith looks annoyed now, Ross. He can tell you’re not listening. He thinks you’re cruel and uncaring. He thinks you hate him. You don’t hate him, do you Ross? You don’t, right? Maybe you should think about that later. “Ross, are you okay?” Say you're okay, Ross. You shouldn’t burden Smith with your feelings, he has so much going on already without your nonsense bogging him down too. Ross. Do you know what you feel anymore? I feel like I’m the one doing all the talking here. Talk to me, Ross. “Ross?”

“Yeah, sure, Smith. We can go help Trott. You lead the way.” Are you sure about that Ross? Ross stand up. Ross.


End file.
